A Choice

In college, I met an amazing young woman named Olga. She was beautiful and intelligent and one heck of a chess player. One day we argued over life and death; weather there is life after death at all. 
I insisted life goes on. Olga kept saying: "When you're dead, you're dead." 

I hope, for her sake, that I was correct. I never knew our existential debate meant more than words to her. One day a mutual friend informed me Olga committed suicide. 

I often think of her. Could I have said something to stop her, had I known?
I wish I had a chance to go back in time. I would fight for her life and tell her that she's important, that she needs to believe each life on Earth matters.  
I would tell her that however bad things may seem at the moment the future is in her hands. She can have any life she wants. I would tell her happiness is a choice and the negative can only hurt us if we let it. 

Olga 

• Date of Birth: March 1969 Date of Death: August 1998
• Zodiac: Pisces Died at Age: 29 Lived: 10763 days

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If I died, would you cry for me?

If I reach down from the sky, will you come to me?

Will I see your eyes tearing up for me?

You died, Olga

We cried for you

You should have heard me scolding you

I wish you were here, so one more time we'd fight

One more time you'd win
Transparent in the night

I wave a white flag in my dream
then sadness comes

you bow your chin

the flag becomes a bloody rag
your soul within
 a child of sin

Are you happy where you are?

Feel you less than mortal pain?

If the place you love can save the weak, should others then salvation seek?

Should I too attempt this dance, before God himself grants me the chance?

So quick and sudden you turned away

So young
Only you arrived

What went through your troubled mind from day to day?
You cut your flesh in moments so contrived
You're not forgotten
Memories sink deep
Frozen in time the clock stopped ticking
Late at night, you drifted off to sleep
Now everyone you loved at your grave kneels weeping

You welcome death, the so called other side

No more breath
Nothing more to hide

In your satin bed, you took a wild ride

When we argued about life and death
Your pain must have been deep
I never knew
I never even had a chance to tell you, to wake you from your sleep

No good bye
You closed your eyes
I stayed

I recognize your plight, but Olga, I can't apologize
 I choose to stay and fight