Darkness

A sad hickory cloud hovered over me
I lay still never to be found

Proudly, I suppose

I stood my ground

When the air tightened up around me, with the atmosphere gone,
darkness found me

Floating on a winter river's run
paralyzed by cold, grasping for breath, which I had none
I gave up on this meaningless abode

Quietly floating on this thrill, my self assurance died.
No!
It was killed.

My cold saliva turned to ice 

I felt nothing. 

Nothing, but the chill ...

Still, I endured each and every lash....

Whips and scorns showered me with pain

Crucified, like Christ, and drenched in blood

I lay floating in the river, as insane

certain nothing more could break me

as my blood soaked body dared to ache me with the weight of the world sitting on my shoulders

His harsh betrayal echoing in my head I lay there thinking

Am I alive or dead?

Who will find me here?

A yelping shriek of an abandoned banshee rode into town on a crimson tidal wave when my crushed skull began spilling in it's creases, hot blood melting away the early snow.

Am I breathing?

I don't know ....

My dandelion flesh turns into a work of art

conquering my fragile broken heart, tearing me into a million little pieces with one blow

my fire dim

slowly dying, no aid to my defense

I fold

Life makes no more sense...

No one is crying for me, no one can hear me scream
Am I screaming?

I can't hear me ....

Men are ruled by stars, so stars they seek, while God rewards the weary and the meek
There are things I can't forget
Things that can never be undone
It's insane, that I am now a spirit

Reflecting on my life as I cab see it now 

I always embraced pain, but Love is now my drive

Behold the light!

A dark shroud melts away 

I wave good bye to falsehood and I chose to stay

Let myself be dead

Why be alive again
Defenseless as I was, a woman scorned

with false promises

no! nothing.

I am done

I am gone

I am happy here

Tears in my eyes, my mortal tears

are now eaten up by the busy waves

the last minutes of my life, become hours, then days of pure 

uninterrupted bliss

Truth be told I died long ago, when all I hoped to know once came to me in a strange, very vivid, dream

I realized then that it was my faith who rescued me

Love is the only thing I took with me
What I give to others I also give to me
for eternity....

Love is my religion
Love is all I see

I have no more tears to shed, no eyes, no hands, no body and no head
Floating on the winter river's bed 

With only a few words on my mind I lift up without any wings

a wretched little soul above some flesh

a thought that became one with everything

Embraced by the light, I devour piece

In a place where only love can find me, pain erased

fear far behind me
I exhale ...

The river engaged in her fancy trip passed by a large bent oak tree 

Some twig grabbed hold of my stiff cloak

with one rip my body is revealed, flipping over for a another ice cold dip, side to side, over, then once again

there is more water now, with the heavy rain

I'm among the rainbows, wind chimes, strange colors never seen

I am happy here, I feel, astonished by the things I see

Is this just a dream or someplace where I'm supposed to be?
As they removed me from the river, my blood soaked body entertained some men just as I pulled back into my body

as my soul was forced to return into me ....

Street lights …railing …. I recall the crash …with a rush of images I woke up and screamed. 

Both because the water was so cold and I was startled by the rescuers
I guess it's how it has to be....It wasn't my time

I get that now

Love is everlasting

Life is about love

We conquor life by overcoming fear

Death is a transition...love never dissapears

Love is the only thing we need, the rest are wants

By perfecting ourselves, trusting destiny
Real love us on her own

That's what I want

I will wait for that, the kind of love that feels like home