Madness

Sadly, I gaze upon my shattered eyes... 

This was love everlasting? 

Hm...

It's no surprise deep darkness dwells upon your crooked lips

Behold! Madness! What? More lies?

The company you keep is deceitful touch!

This pyramid is your monument

It isn't much

Safe inside these sacred clouds, where solemn nights creep upon me like a villain's guilt
I untie this bond.
I let go
Hiding in the dead of night! No more!

To and from the arms of heaven I have flown when
in and out of evil hands have I betrothed my dear porcelain heart

I weep mourning thy unbashful offers
As always, I am left behind
Picking up the pieces

What is left of me I sew into a packet of sweet potpuri
Your wrong becomes my right
I break the chains, opening my tired eyes to find my love remains

It's true

Alas! 

Thy everlasting love is fading

You are denied
For all eternity

Compassion

Why do some have and others not?
Why are some cold, while others are too hot?
If he isn't within us, then, where is God?

A Toast!

Our living room sofa is old and worn, why mom wanted leather, I can’t say...

I'm comfortable at home, I feel serene, in a warm blanket, sipping vine, listening to an evergreen
 





It's a first night into a New Year’s day and I'm finally free of my daily grind,
at least over the holidays

Now, admiring our Christmas tree,  brightly twinkling back at me,
decorated in memories, bought, received and found,

embedded in my brain by color, taste and sound
I'm thinking, where will I be a year from now?
 

Four years ago I had a father, now it’s just mum and I somehow...
My little brother is getting married! It’s true, I suppose, life goes on.... I don't know much, but I know one thing: Whatever we expect from life, whatever it may be, we must believe in something, so I

believe ... I believe in me.

Here, here! I'll drink to that on this glitzy night!

Shine on Christmass tree! Shine on sweet moonlight!

I shall do my very best ‘til next year, when once again I rest next to a brand new tree, making another silly wish and foolishly, I'll wish I were a fish!
 

If only I could dwell upon the mighty ocean waves!

Flipping my long tail, making a big ol' splash! Oh, yes!

Covered in scales, but I guess who cares, when I'm glistening and gliding in the air...in and out of water, free from all restrain! Rejoicing, ignorant of pain…

God, why have I never known such bliss? Why have I never felt as free?

Can it really be so easy, that with a little fantasy, there can be a brand new me! Well, if it's such an easy task, what on Earth am I waiting for? I'll pretend it's next year now!

Forget 2008, here’s to 2009! (gulp, gulp, gulp)  ... hoping that my special wish comes true somehow.

 

Thief!

RG

Thief! 

That very heart you steal is but a figment!
It's not real!
It's not a declaration of my love, when you take my heart against my will!

I drop a tear.
My heart grows cold, dies

 
Steady pulse draws to a halt, overlapping beats, exhaust....
No longer ticking/toking at its cost
Your heart grew fonder, while my heart paused
Have we wasted love?
I wonder...

 
On this forbidden morning I am lost

Too much of my love dwells in your possession
Too much of your love turned into obsession
Say it, you desperate, wretched villain! Say it!
Basking in affection, sitting on your throne!

Should my remaining zest be spent on cruel men of your sort?

Deep love as was my own?

Or will you, uncanny pile of darkness, once more rip apart my world? 

Then to the devil with you, bastard!
Heartless! Gutless! Cold!

I recollect my thoughts on Love, seeking guidance up above.
Oh, come new dawn!
Approach me!

Slap me in my face!

Let some new love scorch me!

Transplant a new heart in my old heart's place!

When I close my eyes each night

I pray for a more meaningful new sight than this old carried, when you filled my cup with stones.
They, so deeply buried, cut into my bones

I bled, I'm bleeding still

With these heavy rocks, set in my lower deck, I am sinking deeper, tired, feeling used.

Sprinkle on sandy beaches just to change my mood
(laughter) blinded by love, oh, this is wild....I'm so confused!

I really thought it was a figment when you stole, but no, the first is real and now

for ever more

you are the only way I heal

In two dark souls I must discover light.

Come strength, hold me, I am weak
Instead of leaving you, I ask you my dear Love: "Is this all that you have taken? Do you want more when we awaken?"

( inspired by John Donne's Valediction and a few movies ) 

Wait for Me, My Love

Original version:

The kettle and the tea

Sea of happiness

Old slippers, side by side

His favorite velvet dress

Heaven turned to hell

Be with me he cried

Coming! Replied my empty shell, just before I died

Buried in Love, hand in hand, it's happiness enough

We fly across this land

Inseparable souls

A much needed relief

Indeed, we are dead, but finally, we live

Second version:

The kettle and the tea in sea of happiness
 Old slippers, side by side
 her favorite velvet dress

 Their heaven turned to hell
 "Be with me!" he cried
 "I promise" replied her empty shell, just before he died

  Decades later, still apart, aching with her wounded heart
  she kept her promise when she followed love
 
  Now happiness, when hand in hand, the inseparable souls fly across this land
  in much needed relief

  "Indeed, we are dead, but finally, we live!"

Afternoon in the Garden

for my mother <3

Martyrs, angels, sweets beyond compare
Overwhelming beauty, ever fair

Time, nor any other measure can't surpass
This heaven's first glance upon my eyes

My everlasting Love
You graced the Earth
You reveled in your past, then, gave me birth

Oh! What a dream it is to hold your lovely face!
I pray to never, ever, let us part!
I kiss your cheek and long for your embrace
I stare upon you, my gentle work of art ...

Feeling blessed to watch this prize now dreaming
I run my fingers through your almost reddish mane
Inside screaming: "Gray! Do not!"

I keep you, precious, from falling to disdain
Napping gently on a day so hot
I cherish each moment
I cherish this time, when I am entitled to call you  - mine
Quietly weeping, I turn to the sky
I whisper a prayer
My prayer is denied

I hold you, my jewel, for as long as can be
I leave you the peaches you collected for me to sweeten your dream
so that this moment won't end
I am holding an angel ...
and I am touching her hand!

Balance

Her sound is quiet, her light is dark
Her good and bad tear her apart


Her cries are pointless, her deeds don’t count Happiness and sadness fill her heart


Her charms are wasted
Her destiny unsure
Her same old – changes
Her sharp vision is a blur


She’s competent
She knows not what to do
She is ordinary, if only that were true


Her sentimental gestures are her quaint disturbances
Her plaintiff is her defendant in strange acquaintances


Her various resentments and her everlasting love
Her practical adventures of a world that's not enough
Flawless contradictions
keys are black and white
self controlled addictions
devastation
love

A Beethoven sonata under a chiffon candlelight
a crystal clear chandelier in her filthy, run down atelier
a taste of a sweet blueberry in the summer or an apple in the fall
ice cold snowball winter fight
a spring dance or a ball
just another day
my anniversary
I’m a realist
I’m dreaming
I’m whispering
I’m screaming
Inside the mirror it is me
I’m everywhere, but I'm not here
I’m a butterfly, drowning in a desert sea
I'm free at last
a honey bee






Cacooned in my deep emotions, poisoned by a healing potion
I'm gullible, yet clever
I’m forever
I am never
I am Belzebub
I’m God
I’m a baby
I am old
I’m hot tempered
I am cold
In my promiscuous abstinence and my intelligent ignorance
is my I incoherent perfect sense


It’s madness, all around me, above and below
Inside me is a perfect glow I’m a red giant
Absolutely! 
No, it isn't true
I am certain that I have no clue
I'm not too much of anything, but I am one with everything
I’m often wrong and sometimes right
I’m an early morning sweet good night
My present absence is white as night
I lied, it's not, I’m dark as light
I’m a head of my time, but overdue
Hence, this, with Love, I ask of you: Can you say name?


I am not your master, not your slave
I’m very different, but the same
I’m stuck in between black and white
I’m not completely day or night
I can kill a person, save the world
I have no value, but I'm worth more than gold
I am earth, fire, water, air
Too afraid to try
I dare
I’m generous, but I never share
I’m alpha
I am omega
I’m polluted, but I'm pure, fragile and unbreakable
Undecided, I am sure
I am the biggest mystery - exactly who I seem to be.
I’m not a dog I’m not a frog
:)
Balance is my name!