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Sunday, March 24, 2013

Stone cold

You quote to relate your feelings and your thoughts
long ago someone forgot to care for you
back then your feelings didn't matter
now they do
but now you are stone cold
I think I hurt you too

If you can't feel, I will feel for you
If you can't heal, know that I am true
If you can't speak, I will speak for you
but please, don't be weak
weakness kills me too



Let it be me, let it flow through me ...
Until you hear the call of mind-blowing amazing love you can't resist
starving for that never-ending must have kiss

When you crave me like you never have before
when your very soul is aching to the core
when passionate dreams control your mind, pumping divine bliss into your every part ...
When you listen to your heart and you give in
when your every thought of us is wrapped in sin
remember, there is no such thing as a stone cold heart
if you can hate, then you can love
stop tearing us apart

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Here is a Heart

Adelaide was a rock star. Boy she loved to play! She wrote a new song every single day til one night, when she reconnected with her past, forced to face a love she knew would never last, Adelaide became unhappy. Entangled and upset, feeling somewhat strange, her frustration grew, but no one ever knew how bad it was for her. The situation rearranged her life. Love felt like a sharp knife cutting through her heart. In many ways she wanted to escape to some wonderful other place, praying for much better days to come.

Inside her head the band played on, boosting the same old crap on her brand new gramophone, but to her great surprise, Adelaide came to realize she was glad that song was over. When it finally played out, Sonny came along one sweet December night. They wrote beautiful songs together, but somehow things weren't any better, because Rocket refused to diminish, crawling his way to the finish, searching for a way out of his hole, squeezing her heart like a f--ing  a--hole!

Caught in a trap, everything felt wrong and nothing
right; Adelaide couldn't concentrate on songs, day or night. Sonny thought everything was fine, but she needed a lot more at the time, thinking everything she ever heard from men were lies.... in her eyes flirting became weary. Adelaide, prepared to say good bye, had to end this, because she couldn't live a lie. That's when their cheery song turned to a drone, a classical piano tune went all trombone and harmony fell out of tune. Soon, there was very little left or not enough. The room fell silent to an accidental theft of love. Sonny totally freaked out (convinced the moon, the stars and planets were designed to dance around his grace), so romance went to hell (now Sonny says Adelaide's new place ) and squabbles killed the song writing, which brought on massive nail biting and serenades became grenades. Adelaide broke her gramophone, screaming she will never write another song, but not long after this she realized, the coolest thing about love is the surprise, not knowing what comes next ... the spaces in between the scribbled text... being true at heart and never fake..... that kind of love takes the cake!  

Friday, March 1, 2013

A thousand years




A drop of ice
Diamond tears
I'm afraid
I'm kind of a bait for your revenge
too far away ...

To be your love, all your love, all devotion
I break away, steal away
Drink this potion of my memory
Tell me how it's going to be

In the end

I realized, I'm not afraid
Whatever will be is not up to me
Intoxicate me 
Now you see, we

Break away, take away, all emotion
Steal away, run away
Every motion makes new memories
Tell me how it's going to be

A drop of ice
a crystal clear diamond tear
I'm never afraid
never a bait
I'm too far away ....

Friday, February 22, 2013

Life is a maze, love is a riddle


Mayans believed time is round
when humanity is heaven bound
five minutes remaining on the clock
time ticking way
I'm at the dock
dipping my feet in the winter river stream
testing the water
before jumping in
I will not scream, I have no fear
knowing that our end is near
I tried, perhaps, with some regret
to lose my pride
now wide awake


With a second chance I must be true, in life, as well as in romance
Before I knew me I was blind, but my eyes have opened
now I see fine, just as you see through me, easily

We are nothing more than a human stain in wild dreams of hope and pain
 Like you, I learn from every moment, everyone I meet and love
I learn to love and how to be loved, I believe in destiny
Perhaps, in some silly way, it's my own personal victory

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

One

Zen Buddhists practice zazen, a seated meditation. To achieve a sense of oneness with the universe, one does not need to practice Zen Buddhism religiously and still be able to absorb the benefits of zen meditation. We are all connected. We are one with all, vibrational beings of light and sound.

We perceive ourselves to be physical bodies, yet in truth every cell inside us, and everything we touch, see, taste and feel is in constant motion.
We are not solid entities. We are fused with the environment as well as vibrationally connected to one another, however close or far we may be from each other. For some, zen meditation is religion, for others it is a form of relaxation and for some it is a way of life. Meditation is a path

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Waterfall

for my daddy ♥ 
( February 13, 1947 - September 1, 2004 )


WATERFALL
 
Lost in the world, feeling all alone
aching, as his will is gone
cancer strikes, yet, he battles on!

A warrior.
A champion!

Iron-clad chains weigh him down, masquerading as sacrifice
Yet, hope remains where sweet love reigns ...
He gave me my big beautiful blue eyes 
 I wish to see him smile again

I come to realize
I am an immigrant child in his paradise
I kneel to humbly dare to pray
confused about what to say, I ask for help, soaked in guilt
thriving, in a world he built

Please stay, stay, I dare say

Thinking back to when life was fair
the woods, the rivers … our precious past, our joyful days, sweet memories that last…
I now see, how much he longs to be the way he was, when young and strong, a gushing bull of energy

Standing tall, I understood, why once an oak, he barely could
why his river turned a waterfall
why I long to love him after all

Perhaps, on this very quiet night
he, sitting by the lonely light
will take me back to a time I miss, when wrong made good with a simple kiss
Perhaps, he'll think about that time
when the world was his and he was none, but mine ❤️

Friday, February 8, 2013

Not In English

SK



If we could just be
if we didn't ask or say
If we took what we need
each moment, every day
no manipulation
no explanations
no expectations

If we could just do hands and tongues
me and you
hearts over beating
lungs barely breathing

it would be true, it would be fair
If we could kill this stupid heartache we can't bare
prove we care

we would just be
_            _            _

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Ode to John Donne

I think I should include poetry from my favorite poets on Sirenprose as well.
I love Shakespeare, but my all time favorite poem is this one, by John Donne. Two people as the arms inside a clock, a circle, the only shape that is perfect, tick tock like a heartbeat, and if one gets too far the other follows... what's not to love about this piece he wrote for his wife.
 
A VALEDICTION FORBIDDING MOURNING.
by John Donne

AS virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
"Now his breath goes," and some say, "No."
So let us melt, and make no noise, 5
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ;
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.
Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears ;
Men reckon what it did, and meant ; 10
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.
Dull sublunary lovers' love
—Whose soul is sense—cannot admit
Of absence, 'cause it doth remove 15
The thing which elemented it.
But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss. 20
Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.
If they be two, they are two so 25
As stiff twin compasses are two ;
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.
And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam, 30
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.
Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run ;
Thy firmness makes my circle just, 35
And makes me end where I begun.

from
Donne, John. Poems of John Donne. vol I.
E. K. Chambers, ed.
London, Lawrence & Bullen, 1896. 51-52.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Resilient


Diving deeper, where the seaweed buries me

I discover what our merit be

Resilient, like all fish
underwater
I am me

Resurfacing, only to lose myself again
I am made different by the sea
Although, my love remains the same
salty as can be

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Rewind



Stop and rewind to that time
sundown, sunrise, heart of mine

Erase bad nights, turn the page
elegy of solid mind

kick the rage, say anything
stop and rewind if you think
it's the only solace we can find

a deep breath in, then, rewind
sundown, sunrise, heart of mine

Monday, January 28, 2013

Poésie de l'amour


A bientot mon amour!
Ce n'est pas facile
Vous etes toujours dans mon coeur 
surtout, très fragile

Deux petites oiseau nous sommes
Voila! Ce sont nos chansons
qui toujours chantons a matin
dans le soleil aux printemps
et jamais oubliĂ©


 

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Doomed

His venomous poison
Her deadly sting
A ring of fire with wild furnishings
Her alien eyes
His desperate cries
You turn me inside out, he lies
I am so confused
I don't recognize myself
feeling sweet Sangria high
when muddy rivers truth will spill
my pretty clouds will disappear
 icy chill will steal the room
 I will die
I know this
I am doomed

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Let it go


If something feels untoward it isn't just a phase
When things weigh heavy on my heart
I put them in a vase
with purple roses, baby breath and poetry of mind
I bottle my pain in a crystal vase
and let the world unwind!

Come to me


COME TO ME

by M Katrin Daria


My mysterious love scrambled brain...

I shouldn’t, yet, I can’t abstain

A voice echoing in my head, blinded by love, gets me soaking wet

I'm crushing blue, offering my heart to you, so take it!

It is pure and true

Come to me, love, dive in deep, we have promises to keep

Single minded, mesmerized, I dream of your big beautiful blue eyes

Blue like the ocean, where I dwell and squirm

Come to me, let us reaffirm our love

Here in the sun, wet to the bone, on a sugar sweet high cream of a dream 

I exude a glow of happiness

Find me now! 

I'm a hot young mess

I'll sacrifice my life for yours somehow to unlock that tomb in a smoke filled room

when out of darkness I appear

soft summer wind, candle light, curtains blow apart, you're right, there is smooth

 jazz playing in my head

When you kiss me and we are transported to a beautiful beach where you gaze into my eyes, no names, no more guessing games, no more aching just to feel you close, one touch of your lips  - overdose

In a gentle sway of hips, our love feels true

No more wishing to take a sip of you

No more yearning to indulge in you

Done wishing, we just do!


How can this be wrong?

It feels too good

 

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Bushido

What makes me who I am? 

Discipline. Dedication. Positivity. Focus. Honesty. Love


Friday, January 18, 2013

Fade Into You


Thousand years ago we met
It was the same back then, as it is now
I didn't know you, yet somehow, I could sense that you were mine

In a crowded street our eyes would meet
You didn't speak, and nor did I
We don't need a sign, love feels the same
Before I ever even knew your name, I felt you there
You're everywhere
All I want is you
I fade into you, when I look at you and see the thousand lifetimes you have lived with me, only me
                        
 


Thursday, January 17, 2013

Friday, January 11, 2013

Ice Princess



I touched a horn in the winter snow
in the Appalachian mountains where I often go

Underneath the pale moon light I came upon a gracious sight!

Moving slowly, reaching out, I held my breath
In one gentle touch, without a sound, a miracle happened as snow flakes hit the ground
Then, the unicorn moved
 I stepped back 
I am no one, I'm a nobody ... yet, all of a sudden... can this be?

The unicorn bowed down to me ....



Monday, January 7, 2013

I'm not here ...


What is this thing?
Pretense or fear?
Depths of your soul are refusing to hear me!

I herald defeat, but not out of fear 
My truth is denied, demolished and ravaged when love finally arrived, but instantly damaged, bleeding and aching, was perturbed by your spear

No where to run 
No where to hide

I am not here
I am not here

Thursday, January 3, 2013

A dangerous flight


On the wings of an eagle
on the wings of a dove
white clouds passing me by
far from my love
A dangerous flight
in hands of another
I am fully enthralled
the thrill is my lover
When turbulence brings darkness upon me
I carry my wings to the next world beyond here
There I will fly
by my own will
a peril less cry, for I am alive still
Each moment, each second
gives rise to a miss
my heart beating faster in eternal bliss
in boisterous demise I keep guessing away ...
Is there a climax?
Will this trip come at bay?
On the wings of an eagle
on the wings of a dove
white clouds passing me by
as I return to my love

Thursday, December 27, 2012

A moment in time


In a moment in time
a euphoric high
all boundaries gone
 as love passes by

I am free to be me, free to fly
What is this torment we all call love?
Why, is enough, never enough?
Where does love come from?
Why must we try?
Cruel, deceiving... 
Love a lie
To be or not to be
I believe enough in me to give up on love, to live happily
But soft!
What light through yonder window breaks?
It is true love!
 I think my heart is awake!
We are all fools in love and the crazy games we play
Why run from love?
Please, true love, stay!!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Brave Hearts

dedicated to Aranka and Joseph Besserman

Life leads to many roads
This I know for sure
Each man is on a path with burdens to endure

We recognize the virtuous 
Only if we try
When the world is up in arms
God hears his children cry

There is strength within us
Challenging the brave, God stands by all heroes, Even at their grave

Triumphant adventures
Until angels return home
Then accepting brand new lives
Many angels grow

Together we live as sisters and brothers
Together we believe
Together we lead
Our fathers and mothers, magnificent angels
Together we suffer
Together we bleed

In love we rise
In love we fall
Exposing our hearts to God above all 

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

UNDERWATER



Willows, roses, wide green meadows
tapestry of life
strange bedfellows

I bend backwards, like a swaying stem, waiting in the dead of day
lucky to be far away from all the mayhem 

In wild red poppy fields, cutting through the stubborn weeds
a mystery is revealed
Now, when the trumpets sound, our hearts that are friendship bound, merge in some strange alliance
Fingers braiding dandelions

No rest for the weary
little birds are cheering to brighten our day

Hedges and thorns  - no longer in our way

Monday, December 3, 2012

Enemy

RG

They say time can heal all wounds, but love should never leave any!
If you only hurt the ones you love, love becomes your enemy

Years later, I realized I truly mattered in his eyes
Difficult this truth may be, I might have hurt him terribly
Oh, c'est la vie!
I am still not sure, his love was pure
I never felt the same
Why ignite the stone cold flame that burned out a long time ago, when I can just say no no no 
I can't love anyone not right for me! ( even if he'd die for me )

It's time I turn to loving me
It's time I return to the sea

Savage



The expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action; and till action, lust
Is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust,
Enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight,

Past reason hunted, and no sooner hadPast reason hated, as a swallow'd bait
On purpose laid to make the taker mad;
Mad in pursuit and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof, and proved, a very woe;
Before, a joy proposed; behind, a dream.
All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.
             
           
sonnet 129 - William Shakespeare

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Madness

Sadly, I gaze upon my shattered eyes... 

This was love everlasting? 
Hm...

It's no surprise deep darkness dwells upon your crooked lips
Behold! Madness! What? More lies?
The company you keep is deceitful touch!
This pyramid is your monument
It isn't much


Safe inside these sacred clouds, where solemn nights creep upon me like a villain's guilt
I untie this bond.
I let go
Hiding in the dead of night! No more!

To and from the arms of heaven I have flown when
in and out of evil hands have I betrothed my dear porcelain heart
I weep mourning thy unbashful offers
As always, I am left behind
Picking up the pieces

What is left of me I sew into a packet of sweet potpuri
Your wrong becomes my right
I break the chains, opening my tired eyes to find my love remains

It's true
Alas! 
Thy everlasting love is fading
You are denied
For all eternity

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Compassion

Why do some have and others not?
Why are some cold, while others are too hot?
If he isn't within us, then, where is God?

Saturday, October 20, 2012

A Choice


In college, I met an amazing young woman named Olga. She was beautiful and intelligent and one heck of a chess player. One day we argued over life and death; weather there is life after death at all. 
I insisted life goes on. Olga kept saying: "When you're dead, you're dead." 

I hope, for her sake, that I was correct. I never knew our existential debate meant more than words to her. One day a mutual friend informed me Olga committed suicide. 

I often think of her. Could I have said something to stop her, had I known?
I wish I had a chance to go back in time. I would fight for her life and tell her that she's important, that she needs to believe each life on Earth matters.  
I would tell her that however bad things may seem at the moment the future is in her hands. She can have any life she wants. I would tell her happiness is a choice and the negative can only hurt us if we let it. 


Olga 

  • Date of Birth: March 1969 Date of Death: August 1998
  • Zodiac: Pisces Died at Age: 29 Lived: 10763 days
---------------------------------------------------

If I died, would you cry for me?
If I reach down from the sky, will you come to me?
Will I see your eyes tearing up for me?


You died, Olga
We cried for you
You should have heard me scolding you

I wish you were here, so one more time we'd fight
One more time you'd win
Transparent in the night

I wave a white flag in my dream
then sadness comes
you bow your chin
the flag becomes a bloody rag
your soul within
 a child of sin


Are you happy where you are?
Feel you less than mortal pain?
If the place you love can save the weak, should others then salvation seek?
Should I too attempt this dance, before God himself grants me the chance?

So quick and sudden you turned away
So young
Only you arrived
What went through your troubled mind from day to day?
You cut your flesh in moments so contrived
You're not forgotten
Memories sink deep
Frozen in time the clock stopped ticking
Late at night, you drifted off to sleep
Now everyone you loved at your grave kneels weeping

You welcome death, the so called other side
No more breath
Nothing more to hide
In your satin bed, you took a wild ride

When we argued about life and death
Your pain must have been deep
I never knew
I never even had a chance to tell you, to wake you from your sleep
No good bye
You closed your eyes
I stayed
I recognize your plight, but Olga, I can't apologize
 I choose to stay and fight

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo

Imagine for a moment the sun is not only your light, it is your guide
the end of a tunnel, a way out of darkness.
Imagine all the beauty in the world, mountains, oceans, wildflower fields
even the horizon, however great
none compare to the beauty of Nirvana

Allow your thoughts to travel
become a beam of light
think not on pain, suffering or posessions, let go of fear
take flight!


Saturday, April 21, 2012

When We Shuffle Off

A small piece of toast, side of apple butter and a cup of peach tea are my only breakfast companion this chilly winter New York morning. Looking outside the cafĂ© window I see life in motion. Hello January! A brand new year is here! Some say it's our last. Others believe life will continue undisturbed.“Will there be anything else?” the waitress asks, inviting me to spiral further down the rabbit hole. I shake my head 'no' to other breakfast food, but will there, be, anything else?

My dad used to say: As many languages you speak, that many times you are a person. I am proud of my multilingual existence. Every few years I take on a new tongue. However, with the possibility of multiple dimensions, parallel worlds and reincarnation, that ‘existence’ infinitely multiplies! When Max Plank first kicked the idea of the string theory in motion, was he in pursuit of existential answers? Did Einstein ever waste his time thinking about death? Albie didn’t believe in wasting time. Einstein owned four identical suits to avoid time wasted thinking about what to wear each day. I wonder if Stephen Hawking thinks about life after death or if Michio Kaku believes in afterlife? Do any these brainiacs believe in God? Who among us hasn’t asked THE question at least once? French post-impressionist Gauguin went as far as painting his concerns in oil. Were do we come from? Who are we? What happens when we die?
The greatest poet of our time was also a phenomenal philosopher. In Hamlet’s famous soliloquy Shakespeare begins with: To be, or not to be. The bard questions life. Are we better off facing destiny, taking whatever cards we’re dealt or should we have courage enough to take matters into our own hands, thereby, calling it quits. Should we bid adieu to life? Should we rid ourselves of pain once and for all? For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come? Shakespeare asks. What happens when the soul separates from body? What are the mysterious twenty one grams that escape us when we finally 'shuffle off'? After all, tea spilling out from a broken cup is still tea, even soaked into a napkin, therefore, is the body nothing more than a shell? If this be true, who are we then? Are we the body or the mind?

What happened to the dead souls long before our time? Are they here? Are they above us? Beside us? Bellow? Are they watching over us? Are they the stars that come out every night? Is that where we come from? Is that where we go? Perhaps, we are stardust. 'There's the respect that makes calamity of so long life!' We must be cowards. IWhy do we live so long? We wait until our bodies give out; until we have no choice, but to pass. We would rather suffer inside our mortal shells afraid of the unknown, then embrace what comes! In the realm of the unknown, where we don't need a body, we do not suffer. Is suffering is the only way we know we’re alive? What if it is the only way we are aware of our existence?
I take the last sip of what is now a very cold and bitter cup of tea, hearing laughter inside my head. It is the proverbial tree in the forest laughing. We are all trees. Is it not true that without our senses we would not know of one another? If we couldn't see, taste, feel, hear or smell would we exist? Can it be concluded none of this is real? Can it be said that life is an illusion? What if life is a vibration of sounds, colors and impulses perceived by our brains? We only about 3%.

I think, therefore I am.

Clearly, without my body I can still hear my thoughts. I don't need ears to hear my thoughts. Why is it that I ignore my inside voice so often? Shouldn't I trust it? I am certain it knows me better than I know myself, but who am I? Am I that voice? Time is one. I believe all time is one. There is no before or after. There is only now. As cowards 'we grunt and sweat under this weary life' and rather than facing eternal void, we yearn to remain sleeping. I'm ashamed of this weakness.

Inside me, the voice says: "Follow the white rabbit, Neo!" I know it is the fear of the unknown holding me back. The 'undiscovered country, from whose bourn no traveler returns' It seems to be a scary place. To believe in heaven, one must believe in hell. If you want to believe there is good, you must believe in bad. Therefore, if there is a hell, we better take our sweet time getting there. (Just in case we're headed there...) Naturally, we are logical creatures. As George Bernard Shaw explains in Man and Superman, we are born greedy. We do what we can to survive and to protect ourselves. We do this out of fear. In history, the bravest living creatures faced their worst fears driven by love and passion in their hearts. Perhaps, that is the lesson we must learn. We are alive to overcome fear and to discover love.
Victor Frankel’s Man’s Search for a Meaning, work of Hobbs, Kafka, Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Shaw, Camus... philosophers whose books I read many moons ago, lead me to conclude that life is reason. It is the series of choices we make. It's school with non stop exams. We face that which we are afraid of over and over until we find love. Love is the greatest strength of all.

If humanity sprung from a few microbes, then, when we die, the show is over . There is nothing after death, but is this a pleasant thought? I suppose that kind of thinking makes everything easier. Does it make any sense? If there is nothing after death, why bother learning, experiencing, understanding at life at all? The truth is that if we had only one choice to make in life there's a reason for all this - life.

If we allow ourselves to believe in God and take part in the mass delusion embraced by all religions life and the possibility of afterlife gain definition. Therefore, the choices we make in life give meaning to our lives and by extension, define afterlife. If there is no life after death, life has no meaning. It is as easy as 1, 2, 3. None of us are quick to embrace God or religion, especially not in the modern world. Unless God is beaten into our brains from birth by our religious parents, religion makes very little sense to most of us. When we give meaning to our lives by choosing to believe in something we are eternal. Shall I call myself an optimist? My tea may be stone cold and bitter now, but my cup remains half full. Life is sweet.